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A father’s exhilarating and funny love letter to his daughter with Down syndrome whose vibrant and infectious approach to life has something to teach all of us about how we can better live our own.
Jillian Daugherty was born with Down syndrome. The day they brought her home from the hospital, her parents, Paul and Kerry, were flooded with worry and uncertainty, but also overwhelming love, which they channeled to “the job of building the better Jillian.” While their daughter had special needs, they refused to allow her to grow up needy—“Expect, Don’t Accept” became their mantra. Little did they know how ready Jillian was to meet their challenge.
Paul tells stories from Jillian’s mischievous childhood and moves to her early adulthood, tracing her journey to find happiness and purpose in her adult life, sharing endearing anecdotes as well as stories about her inspiring triumphs. Having graduated from high school and college, Jillian now works to support herself, and has met the love of her life and her husband-to-be, Ryan.
In An Uncomplicated Life, the parent learns as much about life from the child as the child does from the parent. Through her unmitigated love for others, her sparkling charisma, and her boundless capacity for joy, Jillian has inspired those around her to live better and more fully. The day Jillian was born, Paul says, was the last bad day. As he lovingly writes, “Jillian is a soul map of our best intentions”—a model of grace, boundless joy, and love for all of us.
Product details
Paperback: 384 pages
Publisher: William Morrow Paperbacks; Reprint edition (October 6, 2015)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 0062359959
ISBN-13: 978-0062359957
Product Dimensions:
5.3 x 0.9 x 8 inches
Shipping Weight: 12.6 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
Average Customer Review:
4.7 out of 5 stars
146 customer reviews
Amazon Best Sellers Rank:
#181,072 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
Sportswriter Paul Daugherty had a few choice words for God when he learned that his daughter Jillian had Down syndrome. But he writes that the day of her birth "was the last bad day." In An Uncomplicated Life: A Father's Memoir of His Exceptional Daughter, Daugherty writes about Jillian and his family's life together, living with a disability.Daugherty's story is raw and personal, revealing the struggles that his family went through in Jillian's education and upbringing. Yet above all he conveys a sense of hope and joy as Jillian's personality and cheerful attitude shine through. Paul and his wife determined from the start that they wanted more for Jillian than the expectations of medical and educational professionals. For too long, parents "had been told their kids with special needs could not achieve." The Daughertys threw out that advice, educated themselves about laws regarding the education of special needs children, and fought for Jillian to be educated in a mainstream classroom.I loved these chapters, as my family has been through the same trials: witnessing the horror of the self-contained classroom, convincing teachers that modification doesn't just mean crossing out a few questions, bringing legal pressure to bear on the district to simply follow the law. Daugherty writes, "No parents of typical kids have to fight their school district for the right to have their children in a typical classroom."Why is inclusion such an important issue to parents of children with special needs? First of all, it's the law. But more importantly, "If you want kids with disabilities to achieve beyond the norm, why would you put them in a segregated classroom, only with other kids with disabilities?" Children should not be excluded from the overall educational experiences shared by their typical peers. And as inclusion advocate (and Jillian's future mother-in-law) says, "There aren't special lines at the grocery store" for people with special needs.The Daugherty's love for Jillian is overflowing in the pages of An Uncomplicated Life. I'm sure they would say they simply love their daughter. But Jillian is the kind of person whose love spreads around her wherever she goes. As Daugherty's mother said, "Jillian is the best Christian I know. . . . She's kind. She loves genuinely. She gives. She enjoys life. . . . She acts like the rest of the world should act but doesn't. . . . Those who know her are moved to do better, to be better. To do good." Daugherty himself writes, "Jillian is closer to perfect than anyone I've known."An Uncomplicated Life follows Jillian's life from birth, through childhood, to college, and eventually to engagement to her "best boy." Her story is a testament to the power of a family who chose to look not at what she couldn't do, but what she could do, who asks that we not merely look at Jillian, but see her. Jillian's example will inspire many parents of children with special needs not to settle for less than what standards the world might hold but to "expect, not accept." My daughter is 13, and has travelled some of the road Jillian has. Jillian's story encourages me to continue to raise her like Jillian, who is aware of the "shackles" of her disability but didn't let them hold her back. Thank you, Paul Daugherty, for sharing your beautiful daughter with us.Thanks to Edelweiss and the publisher for the complimentary electronic review copy!
This book was one of the best I have read regarding parenting a special needs child. I saw Paul and Jillian on Dr. Oz and immediately ordered the book intending to give it to some close friends who have their own amazing daughter. I read it in 2 days...smiling, sharing the joys, tears flowing as I felt the bittersweet moments. My son is 27, on the autism spectrum and I identified with so many of the same issues. Paul is an amazing writer and has written a beautiful, magical, poignant story. If I could buy one for all my fellow travelers I would! I did end up buying another copy to give away as I will enjoy reading this again and sharing with others!
Very interesting and a nice story....i dd not like the references to debating with the school system on services. i felt that was the topic of the story instead of his daughter's accomplishments.
Great book of hope, faith, and most of all pro-active action and solid advocacy and parenting. Extremely inspirational to any parent of a child with special needs. Open and honest, Paul and Kerry Daugherty allow us into their lives, and the life of Jillian, to challenge and inspire us. A great read!
I have enjoyed reading Paul Daugherty ever since he started writing for the Cincinnati Enquirer. I've looked forward to reading this book. I was Not disappointed! It was wonderful! I laughed, had tears, felt sad and happy. What a remarkable young lady, Jillian is!How lucky and blessed Jillian's family, Ryan, and her 'Village' are for knowing and Loving Her.I loved the book, Paul. I'm starting to read it again.I highly recommend this book.
Love Paul as a sports writer and his fearlessness to take a stand, popular or not, and defend it with both prose and insight. "An Uncomplicated Life" shows his depth of writing talent even more and made me laugh and cry. From time to time he writes articles for the Cincinnati newspaper "other than sports" and these stories are brilliant. Buy this book and get to know Paul, his wife, son and daughter and their love, struggles and lives in depth.
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